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Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Rewrite of Ghazal -Patacake

October 5th, 2010
Prof. Latasha Diggs

Three cornered harmony laced infectious pride
glazed rich obsidian of enlightened bold pride

Your initiation though stealth with readiness was
tainted with fecal extensions of cold pride.

Shifted through broken spaces, nested in foreign places
sudden swollen compromises lead to aborted pride.

Found you in vestibules of scattered moralities
chasing fallacious cures, betting on failed pride.

 Haunted visions from Sankofa’s lens beckoned
stubborn ears, to cries of aged maternal pride.

Internal libation dispelled trapped demons
life now came forth in new familial pride.

Fueled potential opened rich spaces, labor
for tangible passions of respected pride.

Meticulous portal only curved rounds who planted
potent seeds of fulsome youths marked African Pride.

Pathway of Chaka Zulu, Nandi, Askia, 1763 Coffy,
Toussaint, Martin, Madiba, Winnie, iconic Pride.

Tri symphony breeds rhythms from Ghana to
Rwanda, Buxton to Congo blood tonic pride.

Trillion cut worshiped gem tranquil reign
Unfold fresh values, valiantly rain pride.

Candace renewed womb-man claims it all
Hidden balls, proud walls scream of attain pride.

I tried to adjust the rhyme scheme within the couplet, which was absent in the original poem.

Form: The Ghazal
Topic: The magic of your body part (you pick the part)

Strategy: No "the", "and"; "-ing"; abundance of concrete imagery and metaphor; "I" should only appear once;
use of consonance and pun in every stanza.

Rules: A poem made up of twelve couplets (two line stanzas) all using the same rhyme.

1. Each line shares the same meter

2. The second line of each couplet usually ends with the repetition of a refrain of one or two words

3. In the first couplet, both lines end in the rhyme and refrain

4. The poet puts his name in the final stanza.

5. Always expresses a mystical thought/journey

6. 13 syllables per line

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