Rewrite of Ghazal -Patacake

October 5^th, 2010

Prof. Latasha Diggs

Ghazal

Patacake

Three cornered harmony laced infectious pride

glazed rich obsidian of enlightened bold pride

Your initiation though stealth with readiness was

tainted with fecal extensions of cold pride.

Shifted through broken spaces, nested in foreign places

sudden swollen compromises lead to aborted pride.

Found you in vestibules of scattered moralities

chasing fallacious cures, betting on failed pride.

 Haunted visions from Sankofa’s lens beckoned

stubborn ears, to cries of aged maternal pride.

Internal libation dispelled trapped demons

life now came forth in new familial pride.

Fueled potential opened rich spaces, labor

for tangible passions of respected pride.

Meticulous portal only curved rounds who planted

potent seeds of fulsome youths marked African Pride.

Pathway of Chaka Zulu, Nandi, Askia, 1763 Coffy,

Toussaint, Martin, Madiba, Winnie, iconic Pride.

Tri symphony breeds rhythms from Ghana to

Rwanda, Buxton to Congo blood tonic pride.

Trillion cut worshiped gem tranquil reign

Unfold fresh values, valiantly rain pride.

Candace renewed womb-man claims it all

Hidden balls, proud walls scream of attain pride.

I tried to adjust the rhyme scheme within the couplet, which was absent in the original poem.

Form: The Ghazal
Topic: The magic of your body part (you pick the part)

Strategy: No "the", "and"; "-ing"; abundance of concrete imagery and metaphor; "I" should only appear once;
use of consonance and pun in every stanza.

Rules: A poem made up of twelve couplets (two line stanzas) all using the same rhyme.

1. Each line shares the same meter

2. The second line of each couplet usually ends with the repetition of a refrain of one or two words

3. In the first couplet, both lines end in the rhyme and refrain

4. The poet puts his name in the final stanza.

5. Always expresses a mystical thought/journey

6. 13 syllables per line